via NLP Coaching Training « Bryce Redford – The Bodymind Coach.

via Sports Psychology | Snowboarding And Sports Psychology – The Inner Game.

via CEO 2-9-10.

“Read this simple analogy and see if an alternative to the judging process doesn't begin to emerge. When we plant a rose seed in the earth, we notice that it is small, but we do not criticize it as 'rootless and stemless.' We treat it as a seed, giving it the water and nourishment required of a seed. When it first shoots up out of the earth, we don 't condemn it as immature and underdeveloped; nor do we criticize the buds for not being open when they appear. We stand in wonder at the process taking place and give the plant the care and nourishment it needs at each stage of its development. The rose is a rose from the time it is a seed to the time it dies. Within it, at all times, it contains its whole potential. It seems to be constantly in the process of change; yet at each state, at each moment, it is perfectly all right as it is “(p.21).

via Positive Expectations: Learning to Play Free of Judgment.

But it’s important to get to exactly what we mean. Let’s take an excellent Pete Carroll profile that I reread a few days ago (for obvious reasons).

On page 4:

People who know him best invariably seize upon fun to describe Carroll, either saying it’s fun to be around him or that he’s forever having fun. His emphasis on fun comes mainly from his DNA but also from his reading, specifically W. Timothy Gallwey’s The Inner Game of Tennis, a 122-page book with a cult-like following. (The latest edition features a foreword by Carroll.) Using tennis as a prism through which to view all human endeavor, Gallwey says we focus too narrowly on results. “The three cornerstones of Inner Game,” he tells me, “are Performance, Learning, and Enjoyment . Usually people put Performance first, and Learning and Enjoyment are almost absent.”

If we focused more on Enjoyment and Learning, Gallwey says, we’d perform better and we’d be a lot happier: “You look at a child. He learns while he plays. Anything he tries to do, or win at, he’s playing, he has a wonderful time doing it. They’re not separate things for a child. That means to me these things are inherently built into human beings. Most human beings, you have to coach what’s already inherent—that is, the drive of excitement to learn and keep learning, and the drive to enjoy. It gets really covered up when winning is everything. I agree with Lombardi: Winning is everything. It’s just what your definition of winning is.”

via Various Provocations: Performance, Amateurism and Professionalism.

Lori is an authentic, engaging speaker and coach who shares her real life experiences with honesty and passion! Lori is the Founder and CEO of Foundation Coaching Group Inc. Foundation Coaching’s primary mission is to impact as many women as possible and share the vision of living passionately.

One area of coaching that touches my heart and soul the most is Stress Management. I was happy to be able to read and review this book when asked by the authors. As you might imagine I have read a LOT on the topic and more often than not it is several thousand words of meaningless drivel. I was pleasantly surprised when I dug into the book and I had to actually turn on my brain.
The book is broken out into three sections:
Part One: The Game of Stress, goes into great detail about what exactly stress is, where it comes from, acknowledging and understanding your stress and our reactions to stress.
Part Two: Outsmarting Stress, teaches how to become aware of your stress, shows you strategies to move past stress and how to take control of your life and the stress.
Part Three: The Inner Game Toolbox, describes in detail eight tools to overcome stress.
Throughout the book there are dozens of real world examples of how people worked through their stress or used a particular strategy. As a reader I like to see how other people work similar situations, these were timely and relevant. Each new concept also had a corresponding exercise that lead to new insights about yourself and the stress in your life.
By far the most valuable part of the book is the Inner Toolbox. Eight strategies that can have a significant impact on your life. Each tool is described in a step-by-step manner, includes exercises to cement the understanding and real life stories to share how other people successfully used these tools.
The simplest and easiest tool is the “Stop” and the one that I loved the most was “being the CEO”.
I would highly recommend this book for anyone that knows they have a stressed life and is ready to change it. I also think this book is great even if you feel your stress is under control that tools are ones that should be added to your personal box and can support you continuing your stress free life.

Shanks!
Devoted the last 6 months of my golf life to short game practice, and mainly trying to understand and execute Stan Utley’s techniques. I had been happy enough with my long game and my distance and consistency, but was sick of not scoring any better for many many years.. perpetually stuck in the low 80s barrier.

So for about 6 months I averaged probably at least an hour per day of short game practice, overall. I didn’t playl. Occasional driving range to make sure my long shots were still ok. Usually I would head over to the practice area in a public course near my house, in the AM before work, and then sneak again over there at lunch, for another session. Logistically I was lucky in that it’s easy for me to get over there.

Yeah, that’s a lot of practice. Some days I would skip, but I would go more often then not. I was able to grasp, absorb and improve my facility with Utley’s various methods for chipping, pitching, putting, bunker and recovery. I read all his books and watched all his golf channel and youtube vids over and over again, religiously.

My technique improved. I often would find myself looking like a genius on the pratice area. But I started having a problem. It usually started when I would move to working on slightly longer pitch shots from tighter lies. I would start shanking– often combined alternatively with fat shots. Horrible!!

It started to become a very consistent pattern… I would get to the practice area, hit a bunch of great shots and then at some point start shanking. I would gradually deteriorate, shanking more and more until I would eventually stumble on something that would make them go away, I’d hit great shots again and feel like a hero once more. I would think it was licked, only to have it return again, the very next day, usually as soon as I started trying the tougher lies again. Frustrating!!

Very very frustrating. Started to get me thinking about throwing in the towel. One who shanks doesn’t deserve to play golf! The dreaded shank!! Most golfers don’t even want to say the word!

I developed all sorts of theories as to what was causing them: ‘Pitching from tight lies is hard and causes tension, and the tension makes me flinch and shank.’ or ‘I get tired and my swing stops working’ or..’i'm too old (48) and golf is just too hard’, or.. ‘my setup is wrong, Im too closed, and if I try to swing on a single plane (i.e. flat) as utley advocates, then I’m misaligned and at that point I have to shank.’

I started laying down a club as a reference point for my allignment, and that helped, but wasn’t a cure. They returned after I would stop using the club.

I firmed up my grip and left arm and increased my arm swing length somewhat and that seemed to help, but ultimately I knew that was a bandaid and sure enough they came back.

Finally I saw that they weren’t going away completely. I would need to come to terms with them, or just stop playing. Then I started to think more about shanks in general, and decided that shanks had a bad rep that was undeserved; I convinced myself that a shank was no better or worse than a fat or thin shot, just different. An unfairly categorized mis hit. That kind of thinking oddly seemed to help and reduce the tension or whatever it was that was causing them to begin with, but they still didn’t go away completely, and clearly I wasn’t going to be breaking 80 very much with them being so “abundant”.

Finally I decided that my only hope was to take it a step further. I decided I would truly welcome the shanks. I borrowed a method that I got from Tim Gallwey’s golf book that I read long ago, called “welcoming the yips”. Sure enough when I really allowed myself to shank and really started to feel and focus on what was actually going on, something really cool happened: I started focusing on the heel of my wedge. Without trying to control it, I just focused on it, to see what it was doing exactly. Then it happened: I felt myself leaning in towards the ball slightly during the process of the swing. And as soon as I became aware of it, the instability felt really noticable– like a big ship teetering in the waves.

The cure seemed clear.. stop doing that leaning thing!! It made sense that the leaning could cause both shankin and the fat shots. But I knew from the inner game book that trying to avoid something doesn’t nessesarily make it go away, and often strengthens it. So I focused instead on expressing stability during the swing, and kept on focusing on the heel of the club, and just noticing whether I leaned in or not and how much, without trying to control it.

Well– in short, Bingo. No more shanks. I’m happy to report that I’ve been doing much better the last few days, and ‘they’ are being held at bay. I’m feeling much more confident now and I even think I’m getting ready to play again. Will keep you posted as to my progress. Dang shanks!

What if you decided to quit trying so hard? I’m not talking about giving up. I mean holding on to your dreams, but not grasping for them like straws or brass rings. It seems like the harder you want something, like a better relationship, a mended fence, a new car, monetary success, paying off all your debts, the harder it is to accomplish it. It’s as if the more you yearn, the more you push it away from yourself. I don’t exactly know why, but I’ve found when I’m patient enough to look back on my life, the best things that have happened to me (and I’m grateful for plenty) come when you just let it go and let it happen.

I read about Tim Gallwey many years ago in Reader’s Digest. He wrote Zen-like books about sports: Inner Tennis, Inner Golf, and my favorite, Inner Skiing. He could have written Inner Whittling, but it doesn’t matter. He used sports as a vehicle to teach about not being so damn self-critical and letting your mind be free to achieve, allowing your body to follow.

Gallwey discovered this approach on a frigid night in the middle of nowhere in the wee hours of a dark, starlit snow-covered morning. He was driving in the backcountry of New England and his car died. He became panicked and fear-stricken knowing he might well freeze to death. There were no houses or signs of humanity anywhere for miles around. So, he decided that rather than freeze, he would walk until he found someone home, or until it was the end. As he walked in the brisk cold darkness with shining stars illuminating the way, he realized how entirely beautiful his surroundings were. He had a transformation. He no longer felt panicked, but rather, a sense of immense joy and awe at the beauty that enveloped him. He let it go and let it happen, leaving his sense of doom and gloom by the wayside. It undoubtedly saved his life. He finally happened upon a farmhouse where he was gladly taken in by the occupants.

I have embraced his philosophy of inner peace and the Zen-like qualities that can make a huge difference in the lives of anyone willing to give this path a try. It truly revolutionized my skiing and the other sports I’ve played over my 59 years. It helps you get in “the zone.” But, don’t try to recreate it, or think about how you got there, for it is a fruitless exercise in futility. You have to LET yourself find the sweet spot in life without grasping for it, owning it, or writing down the perceived “formula” as if it were a recipe. Just give yourself a break and see what unfolds.

I am in the process of trying to remember these timeless teachings without stressing about them. It is so easy to fall back into your old self-destructive mindset. You can’t get in the “zone” at will. It’s as if you need to be open to letting it find you. And when you do, boy is it a Godsend. Writing about this phenomena here has helped to pave the way for me to get back on track by not looking too hard for the rails, if you know what I mean. Thank you Tim.

Inner Game of Stress

Renowned sports psychology expert W. Timothy Gallwey teams up with two esteemed physicians to offer a unique and empowering guide to mental health in today’s volatile world. The Inner Game of Stress applies the trusted principles of Gallwey’s wildly popular Inner Game series, which have helped athletes the world over, to the management of everyday stress–personal, professional, financial, physical–and shows us how to access our inner resources to maintain stability and achieve success.